...I miss my mind the most" - Mark Twain
It's overwhelming. I'm not even a real 'wife' yet, and I feel like I have just so many responsibilities laid on my shoulders and no real time or energy to do them all. I can't imagine what it's like when I actually have a child (or two)!
Right now it's just Steve, me, and a dog, and the laundry is never-ending (of course it doesn't help that Chewy has started having sporadic accidents on the bed). I have to hit up the grocery store every other day, and I still feel like I don't ever have anything for dinner. I have a great dishwasher because it's quiet, but I think it's smaller than the past two I've had because dishes need to be washed constantly. I keep failing at getting a rhythm set at the gym. I'm either going to help teach CCD, or doing an infusion, or I've overslept, or I didn't sleep enough. Ugh!
Then there's this whole wedding planning business. I'm not saying it's not enjoyable at times, but I guess something I never realized about myself until now is that I always wanted to get married, but I never really wanted a wedding. Or if I was to have a wedding, I was kind of wishing someone would plan it for me/with me (aka: Mom). It's just not as fun without her here helping me. I know I'll still have a blast with Steve and my friends and family, but there's also a part of me that is really heartbroken whenever I start to think of questions I want to ask her. Then I just decide to stop thinking about it for awhile and nothing ever gets done!!
I really hope it's going to help being on days and having an actual set schedule. I have a feeling it'll help my moods. Also, it'll be nice to plan things with people when both of us are awake at the same time! That whole 'immediate response' thing that I've been lacking for the past five years will be back!!
These past few years I've done nights have flown by. I am surprised how well it worked out actually. I didn't know anything about what life would be like on night shift, but I listened to my gut that it would be a good way to start my career. I was lucky enough to be able to live at home and safe up a good wad of cash to invest in my house with. It's nice that I feel equal with Steve because I put in my half to that house, even though now the money will be 'our' money, it feels good to have contributed. Now I can 'relax' & go to day shift where my body will be able to get back it's normal circadium rhythm.
Soooo excited!!!
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